Ugh. Here we go again. Another layer peeled back. A big expansion followed by what feels like an inevitable contraction.
It seems, the clearer I get the more I am called to let go of the BS. The BS that finds a way to convince me I’m not good enough. The BS of a shame that can feel so freaking uncomfortable it makes me nauseous or causes me to want to crawl out of my skin. The BS of the voices and the feelings that tell me what I have to say doesn’t matter, that I don’t matter.
There is more BS but instead of continuing with it, let’s just state that the BS flat out doesn’t feel good.
It doesn’t feel good when it exists inside of us, and it doesn’t feel good when it is clearing itself out of our system.
Purification is when it is clearing out. It is a surfacing and clearing process that involves a rebalancing of the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. A getting rid of the BS.
It happens to create space for the new.
During purification, traumas held in the body release, negative thoughts and patterning are identified in order to be reprogrammed, and emotions that have felt caught and heavy in the body are let go of.
Essentially it’s a detox.
A detox that brings a lot of freedom and lightness on the other side.
This is all really awesome. AND. The process can also be, messy, chaotic, raw and super uncomfortable. It also doesn’t happen overnight, and it can happen in layers.
Because of that, sometimes when it happens, you may wonder, what is wrong with me, am I ever going to get this, am I messing up? I’ve been doing so much work to heal and become so much more aware, yet sometimes it feels like I’m standing still….
To help with that uncertainty and doubt, I find it helps to understand the process.
Each time you find clarity and alignment with your truth, you are shedding a bright light into your entire being. This bright light is illuminating all that doesn’t match with this truth and clarity, be it limiting thoughts, outdated beliefs, past experiences….
The illumination begins to ease away and clear what is not in alignment...to detox.
Now, these unfelt emotions, negative thoughts, old traumas, might not hold the same type of physical toxicity as heavy metals or pesticides and other toxic elements we consume, and then are released in the traditional sense of a detox, but they do hold a toxicity. A toxicity that weighs you down in life, and that causes things to feel harder, or foggy or confusing. When released, just as when we are detoxing from impurities we have ingested, it can feel icky and not so great.
Yet the freedom on the other side is incredible. The lightness and the joy.
The sense of feeling like yourself!
As you continue down your healing path, the light gets brighter, reaching into the darkest and most hidden reservoirs of the body and the psyche. You also begin to become aware of patterns passed down through your lineage. Because of this, it can sometimes feel like the purifying and detoxing is never going to end, that you’ve been around this block already and therefore there must be something wrong with you, because why have you not gotten it by now.
You are getting it. You are spiraling up, and while is so many ways it may seem like the same BS, your vantage point is different.
So know that, and know that there is no formula and there is no time frame. You are where you are and your best bet is a whole lotta extra self-care and self-love.
The healing journey is not easy, it brings up the grittiness of being human. Many people avoid this, so if you are not avoiding and you are open to change and growth, give yourself some credit and give yourself space to honor the process.
Louise Hay says something relating to this that I really like, ‘If you are going to clean the house, you have to see the dirt.’
Here are a few things I have found helpful when I’m in the middle of some purification:
Drink lots of water.
Sleep. And then more sleep. Knowing that, this too shall pass.
Breathe. Breathwork is one of the best clearing and cleansing practices I know.
Baths. Epsom salts. Or better yet...hot springs or ocean swims.
Move your body. Let movement support the letting go.
Nature. Fresh air, sunshine or even rain. Nature will help your body ground and recalibrate.
Be easy on yourself and give yourself space to process and integrate. This is some really valuable stuff.
Journal. The more you know yourself, the better you can take care of you. And when you take care of you, all those around you benefit.
Transformation isn’t comfortable. I mean that whole caterpillar becoming a butterfly... comfort wouldn’t be a word I’d include in that process.
Once the intensity has cleared, notice any shifts in your behavior.
Most often for me, after a clearing I’m suddenly doing the things I had been avoiding on my to do list or having those conversations I’d been putting off.
Lastly, know that you are not alone and know that if it ever feels like too much, reach out. You are loved and you matter.
Love, Eliza Rose Kane
Addendum:
Unconsciously complaining. Acting unconsciously. That is not purification. There is a good chance, that is you getting caught in the old way of being, and there is also a good chance you’re able to see this in another more clearly than you can see it when it is happening to yourself =)
No judgment here, just an important distinction that needs to be made.